chapter 1 
travelling back to goa

Travelling Back to Goa, the opening chapter of my thesis, introduces the setting where my fieldwork started: a rainy, intensely humid Goa at the onset of the 2023 monsoon season, where I embarked on my research into Portuguese colonial memory. I trace the motivations behind my choice of topic - a path that began in 2021 - and introduce a theme that will recur throughout the following chapters: the entanglement of my participants’ memories with my own.


Goa at the onset of the 2023 monsoon season. Photo by the author.

To what extent do memories of the Portuguese colonial past influence the everyday practices of Goan Catholics? is the research question guiding this project. Drawing on an analysis of nostalgia expressions, a lieu de mémorie in Panjim, and the practice of writing memoirs, I argue that recalling the past shapes the everyday practices of Goan Catholics, helping them mitigate the uncertainties of life in a rapidly changing Goa that they fear may soon disappear.

In the section THE FIELD AT FIRST SIGHT, it is presented the first division I encountered in Goa: the role of religious affiliation in shaping narratives of the past. Most visibly expressed through language, I describe how I first became aware of this divide by repeatedly hearing Catholic participants refer to the end of Portuguese rule in 1961 as an invasion by Indian troops, while Hindu participants consistently described it as a liberation.



Chapel of Our Lady of the Mount in Goa, and its surroudings, as an important symbol of catholic identity in the state. Photos by Yash Sawant.

In THEORISING MEMORY, I engage with key debates in memory theory. Beginning with Halbwachs’ (1992) classic formulation of collective memory, introduced via Werbner (1998, 2) and Berliner’s (2005, 206) critiques, I build on Cole’s (2001, 29) call for a middle ground where memory is not situated on either one of the oppositions of its individual or collective forms.  While my informants’ narratives often align with broader collective frameworks, it is within their individual expressions that anthropological analysis must ultimately take place.

In METHODOLOGY, I explain how the chosen methods - from daily participant observation with the same group at Mr Baker, to conducting semi-structured interviews with Goans beyond this group, and using video tools - provided the flexibility needed to navigate the complex and often unpredictable realities of fieldwork.



Shooting in the field. Photos by Yash Sawant.

Finally, in POSITIONALITY AND ETHICS, I reflect on how my Portuguese nationality shaped my early interactions in the field, often leading to the assumption that I held a favourable view of the colonial regime. This identity granted me relatively easy access to the field, as many of my interlocutors maintained ties with Portugal and were eager to speak about it. At the same time, it provoked hostility from others who quickly labelled me as “in favour of the Portuguese.” I also consider how gender, race, and age informed my positionality, particularly through the expressions of care and concern for my safety shown by some participants. Finally, I explain my decision to anonymise certain interlocutors, motivated by ethical considerations arising from the sensitivities involved in the research.

introduction                                                                                                           chapter 2



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